I wanted to share some thoughts that I had yesterday, as I was spending some time pondering on questions about womanhood. I was thinking on the question "what is strong about a woman?", and as I came up with characteristics, I started to see corresponding weaknesses that seemed to be derived from the same core traits as the strengths, we'll call them the pros and the cons to each trait. For each trait, there seem to be ways in which it could be magnified towards goodness, or it could become tainted or corrupted.
I will put a BIG disclaimer on these thoughts as they certainly haven't vetted against any peer reviewed journal entries, or even vetted well within my own mind; these are merely opinions derived from my personal experiences with women that seem to usually or commonly (but not universally or exclusively) be associated with or come more easily to women. Feel free to add your voice in agreement or dissent, or in any other way you see fit, I welcome this to be a open conversation!
Here we go...
The first female tendency I wrote down is "the ability to see things through others' eyes". Women just seem to have a more innate sense about what other people may be thinking or feeling.
The pros I saw from this trait include things like: empathy, being able to see things through a child's eyes, and the ability to help others to feel comfortable and loved.
The cons that I saw from this trait include things like: a preoccupation with the thoughts or opinions of others, and letting those opinions stifle/silence/cripple you from speaking up or being involved.
The next tendency is "an appreciation for beauty". Whether it's decorating a home, dressing well, seeing beauty in simple things, or setting out a tablecloth in Relief Society; women seem to (usually, or commonly) both appreciate and care more about beauty than men.
The pros of this included things like: Keeping things clean, "brightening up a room", planting a garden or flowers, creating things like cooking and sewing and crafting, or seeing the beauty more easily in things like children or nature.
The cons of this seem to include: a preoccupation with things like fashion, outward appearance, or a having a perfectly decorated home; or placing the value of those things higher than the needs of people (eg. the children can't play because they might get something dirty).
The next tendency is "tenderness". Women seem to feel both more easily and more deeply than our opposite gendered counterparts.
The pros of this include things like: More easily feeling love for others, or feeling that love more deeply. Having hearts that are more easily pricked into acting on behalf of others- taking meals, putting an arm around someone who is crying, sympathizing with the plight or challenges of another. There seems to be a more innate ache to help, comfort, or care for others- and is especially useful in caring for children.
The cons of this made me think of things like: Turning to unhealthy relationships to try and fill the depth of our need for love, care, and affection. Women seem more easily crippled or inhibited by deep pains, fears, or sadness. We are also more easily overwhelmed by our emotions.
The next tendency is "gentleness". Both physically and emotionally, women seem to act with more gentleness.
The pros of this seem to include things like: A carefulness not to wound or offend another. This in particular seems suited well to caring for children, because children are so sensitive to harshness.
The cons of this, and I think these are big ones, seem to include things like: A difficulty speaking up, or getting walked on. Turning to passive aggressiveness in attempts to speak up while still appearing "gentle".
The last tendency I wrote down is "being perceptive to the needs of others". This is similar to both seeing things through the eyes of others, and tenderness, but I thought it was worth noting on its own.
The pros of this seem to be: An ability to care well for babies and young children, who cannot articulate their needs well, if at all. Women seem to more easily "go to work" without prompting- whether it be taking a meal to someone they know is down or sick, or making a phone call to someone who they think might be lonely- any number of things like that. Men are out there readily accepting the call to help someone move, and women are offering to babysit for you because because they just noticed how overwhelmed you seem.
The cons of this seem to be: Becoming manipulative, withholding those things that someone else might be aching for, or pushing certain buttons in an attempt to wound deeply.
Those are all of the tendencies I've written down at this point, and I this is not an entirely correct or exhaustive list, but it was a fun and interesting exercise that helped me to highlight the ways in which I might be able to better magnify or nurture some of my more feminine qualities. Do you have thoughts on other tendencies that seem to be more usual or common for women?
Labels: Women