It's amazing what a good night's rest will do for you. As one of my sweet commenters pointed out, "today is a new day", and a new day it was. There were no emotional breakdowns today, and I am no longer feeling beat up and hopeless.
Today I tried to pay special attention to moments of success rather than moments of failure. I noticed several tantrums that were averted or quelled before they turned into a stage five meltdowns. I paid more attention to the smiles and the snuggles from the kids, to signs that they love and trust me. I tried to stay better tuned in to my own emotional state, and made changes more quickly to adjust for rising stressors.
I spent a lot of time in reflection after my rough day yesterday, and came to the conclusion that it's no coincidence that Peter was my firstborn. Nothing shows you your weaknesses like your children, and Peter is the perfect little person to highlight my specific weaknesses, and make clear the value in constantly working on them. His spirit is so sensitive that it leaves me no room to try and conveniently ignore the things about myself that may be difficult to face.
I also came away feeling grateful for the forgiveness of children. If it had been me and another adult in yesterday's debacle, the two of us most certainly would not have been on speaking terms today. But this morning Peter woke up calling for mama and was all smiles and giggles when I came in to say good morning. No hard feelings, no guilt trips, just a little boy giving me another chance to be a better mom today.Labels: Motherhood, Personal Growth