Last night Carolyn had another terrible sleeping night. The two nights previous to that, her sleep had been merely bad, but not downright terrible. Not only did I get some generous three hour stretches of continuous sleep over the weekend, but I had been uplifted by conference, and I felt full of motivation to be better and renewed with physical, emotional, and spiritual strength. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I almost wanted Carolyn to sleep terribly last night.
Previously, it had seemed like every time that I felt renewed and ready to do better through the next challenge, something hard would happen and that crusty calloused heart of mine would rear its ugly head again. This time felt different, I felt more purposed and believed I was now equipped with better tools to succeed. But how would I know unless I was tested?
Well, my wish was granted, and as I was walking my heavy little baby around for the second hour in a row, at one in the morning, I was grumbling under my breath at my ambitious earlier self. Grumbling, but not crumbling. I felt like a week ago, I would have had that test and given myself a generous D grade, but I would give my performance a solid B. That's measured improvement right there.
Ta-da! All done growing and developing! Now Carolyn can feel free to sleep 10 hours straight tonight. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha...Labels: Motherhood, Personal Growth