Cluff Central: Am I a good mom or a bad mom?

Having Peter "help" me with something even though it is mostly the opposite of helpful these days.
Playing with the kids outside.
Playing with the kids period, deliberately, for a chunk of time (outside is always worth more good mom "points").
Switching from screen time to something that engages me with the kids.
Meals or snacks composed of more than one thing, and at least one of those items is healthy. Bonus points for more than one healthy item.
Setting aside my phone for large chunks of time.
Reading books with the kids (Mostly this means with Peter while Carolyn naps, she just grabs and chews on them these days. It's not very conducive to a reading environment).
When I can connect instead of yell, when I really want to yell.
Singing songs with the kids. Peter's favorite is the turtle song, ask me about it in person sometime and I'll sing it for you.
Dancing with the kids.
Having all three of us (the kids AND myself), dressed and ready for the day by... 10 am? Bonus points for 9 am.
When I am on top of keeping things in a good routine or on a reliable schedule. For example, dual nap time is typically followed by the "double whammy dance". You can ask me about that one in person and I will not show you. You have to be here, in the moment, to experience that one.

You may notice that I have a high degree of control over all of these things. Sure, the kids can complicate or inconvenience them, but I hold the ability to make these things happen with or without perfect cooperation from the kids (well, maybe not singing and dancing, but they literally never turn those down).

There's another list that seems to exist in my mind, which are my moments that make me feel like a "bad mom". Let's take a look at some of those:

When both kids are crying at the same time and I can't help them simultaneously. It gives a literal loudness to feeling like a bad mom.
When Peter won't eat the food I have made for him and all he wants is cookies.
When one or both of them won't go to sleep no matter what I do.
When one of them gets hurt or endangered when I wasn't paying close enough attention/right there to protect them.
When I don't know the answer to what is upsetting them.
When Peter is too rough with his sister and she gets hurt.

Etcetera, etcetera... you get the idea. It's interesting to note how little definitive control I have over the things that make me feel like a bad mom. It's so easy for me to take all the "might be your fault's" and believe that they are all my fault in those moments. If I was just a little better, those things wouldn't be happening. And I'm sure that plenty of times that is true, but I'm also sure that plenty of times it isn't.