I feel like I have been such a Debbie Downer lately. Sorry 'bout that folks. That's not my norm. I feel like I've always been more of a glass half full kind of gal, someone who smiles come easily to. Lately, my smiles have taken more effort. Warm and fuzzy feelings in my heart are harder to come by. I've felt a little more numb than anything else. Maybe that's what happens when your heart doesn't want to hurt anymore.
I thought the other day about a talk from this past General Conference, given by Neill F. Marriott. What an awesome lady she seems to be, I have loved her talks. In this talk, she teaches how our hearts need to break before God. She says:
"What is our heart condition today?...in order to have a healed and faithful heart, we must first allow it to break before the Lord. “Ye shall offer for a sacrifice unto me a broken heart and a contrite spirit,” the Lord declares. The result of sacrificing our heart, or our will, to the Lord is that we receive the spiritual guidance we need. ...In our brokenhearted reaching and yoking, we receive new hope and fresh guidance through the Holy Ghost."
I don't think I'm there yet, but it helps to give me hope that there is probably a wise purpose in my difficulty lately. I think there's something about allowing your heart to break that is valuable. It's painful and terrifying, but I think it's something that we have to allow ourselves to experience, it cannot be forced upon us. We can shut down our heart, or we can allow it break.Labels: Motherhood