Often times as I read my scriptures, I find myself relating to various people within the pages. I can relate to Peter's stumble of faith as he walks on the water with Christ. I can relate to Laman and Lemuel murmuring about their great afflictions and hardship in the wilderness. I can relate to Alma the Younger as his soul is filled with joy at the forgiveness of his sins. I can relate to the prophet Joseph Smith as he cries out for God to stretch forth his hand and relieve his suffering.
As often as I relate to people in the scriptures, I really struggle to relate to Christ.
I know that
Christ can relate to me, and
my suffering and hardship and pain, but it is really difficult for me to look at the perfect life He lived and feel like I can relate to Him. I don't think I've ever been able to look at some aspect of His life, and feel liked I walked those same steps. Then tonight I was
pondering again on prayer and faith and my mind drifted back to Christ's prayer in the Garden of Gethsemane.
He prays:
"...O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt."
As I reflected on that prayer, "if it be possible" stood out to me like it hadn't before. I've always taken comfort in the fact that Christ asked for His burden to be removed, for the cup to pass from Him. That it is not a sin to ask or to desire for a trial to be removed. But what else I realized tonight is that Christ was not sure what was absolutely required. He was not sure what all needed to be done. He was not sure what all His Father was requiring of Him.
I can relate to that!
As I am sleep deprived and cranky, trying cook dinner while my baby crawls up crying and grabbing onto my leg, and my toddler is frantically yelling demands at me from across the room and I feel completely overwhelmed- all I want to know is if I have to go through this, or if maybe this time, Heavenly Father can help me out and lift some burdens.
I ask Him because I'm not sure what He wants or needs me to go through. I'm not sure that I see the whole big picture that He can. I'm not sure whether or not this moment and this trial is critical. And neither was Christ. He was at the brink of the greatest act in history, His whole purpose here on Earth, and He wasn't 100% sure if He really had to do it.
Even Christ had to exercise faith, had to take a huge and terrifying step into the unknown, had to maintain some ignorance of the full requirements upon His shoulders.
And that comforts me, because I can relate to that.
Labels: Faith, Personal Growth