I hope I'm not the only one who flip flops between wanting to fully embrace screen time and wanting to completely shut it down. Especially when it comes to the kids.
There's that 'ol American Academy of Pediatrics advice on screen time for children, the advice being ZERO screen time before they are two. Ha. Hahaha. There are literally screens everywhere. In my hand, on my desk, on the wall, in restaurants, at the mall, at the pediatrician's office (oh the irony of that one). Zero screen time is impossible. Even the AAP acknowledges that their policies are outdated.
So while I acknowledge that truly having zero screen time for any long stretch of time is hardly realistic, there's an enormous chasm between no screen time and constant screen time, and it is tough for me to tell where a good line in the sand is.
I have seen the magic and beauty of a child going from freak out to serene with the mere click of a youtube video. And I have felt the freedom to once again take a drive longer than 10 minutes thanks to that DVD player in the van. I see these things and I think, 'bring on the screens!".
But then after a week of screen embrace- having a movie going in the car everywhere we go (because once he knows it's there... oh boy), and letting him sit and watch youtube while I shower or nurse the baby; I noticed that Peter seemed even less manageable and more irritable than he might otherwise be. I started to feel like what was initially a "high" of relief from screen time, now felt more like a critical minimum, that I couldn't even manage my own child without having youtube on the ready. In a measly week of embracing the screen, he and I were both showing classic signs of addiction.
Not one to let anything but me be the boss of me, I decided to cold turkey the screen time for a little while. We all had some withdrawal pains, but those subsided surprisingly quickly. Then we had to take a 45 minute drive... and I flipped that handy little screen down in the van. Then I had to pick up Marty from the mechanic and wait around for an unexpected 30 minutes. Flip that screen down again. Then Marty was home a lot today (apparently I hadn't clued Marty in on my vendetta to cut down on screens), and I walked in to find them entranced once again by videos of construction equipment on youtube.
They didn't even notice me taking these pictures. I was inches away.
And both of them loved it; Peter is very, very, very into cars right now. And as a landscaper, Marty can't help but love videos of skid steers. And I loved it, because I got to go to the grocery store by myself (cue songs of rejoicing!) while the baby napped and these two were mesmerized.
But of course, when it was time to turn off the screen, we had a melt down on our hands.
So I'm sitting here struggling to determine where the line should be. I don't typically like all-or-nothing approaches to most things. For my own screen time (because we all know this is not just a toddler issue) I feel like if I want to get rid of it because it's having a negative impact on my life, that's more of a sign that I need to find a better way to manage my screen time, than evidence that screen time is bad.
Just this week I also decided to make screen time more inconvenient for myself. This is my "phone pouch", where I now keep my phone throughout the day to keep me from getting sucked into it constantly. It has really helped to keep me present with the kids. I hung it where I would rarely find myself standing, so that I have to deliberately walk to it if I want to use it. It has helped me to more clearly see the metaphor of my phone "taking me away from the people around me".
Maybe after I have weaned myself a little longer, I can keep it back in my pocket. It has been much harder to capture cute pictures of the kids, and I do love flipping through those at the end of the day.
I guess I say all of this wondering what you all have done to manage screen time? How to you moderate the negative effects without disposing of the benefits?
Labels: Motherhood
