I believe that men and women are inherently different. There, I said it. You wouldn't think that this would be a radical idea, but there sure seems to be a lot of effort exerted in
proving otherwise. Clearly though, I'm not alone in my way of thinking, because
there are an awful lot of books out there to help people understand the opposite sex.
Even with all of the differences that are argued about, everyone seems to agree that a woman's body is pretty uniquely designed to carry and birth a child. And I have this feeling that some of those "differences" that get argued about not only legitimate, but exist to cause women to be more uniquely equipped to care for children. Even after all of that "womb" business is over.
I don't presume to know anywhere close to everything, and in fact seem to learn something daily that causes me to realize that I was wrong about an opinion I held the day before. I reserve the right to change my mind about any of these ideas. I also admit that none of these ideas are peer reviewed or published in any journal articles. With those as my disclaimers, here are some of the characteristics that I see as more unique to women, and how I have seen them benefit me as a mother.
- Women seem to have a more innate sense about what others are thinking or feeling than men do.Babies can't talk. They are notoriously terrible at describing to us what they need or when they need it. Sure the doctor will tell you that when your newborn stuffs their hands in their mouth they are hungry, but they literally always have their hands stuffed in their mouths. Thanks doc. Even from day one, I was better than my husband at guessing what the baby needed. Then I had a toddler, and had to interpret a series of grunts and whines all day, and it has made me feel like there's actually a useful purpose to constantly wondering what the people around me are thinking.
- Women seem to be more sensitive to extreme temperatures than men.So are babies! When I walk outside on a cold day with the baby, if I am freezing, I can usually bank on the baby being freezing. On the other hand, my husband will walk around outside with the baby in nothing but a onesie on a chilly day, and have no idea that the baby is cold because he is perfectly comfortable. The baby being cold always seems to catch him off guard, but it's impossible for me not to think about because my body seems to have about the same temperature preferences as the babies.
- Women seem to be better at having their attention split and multi-tasking.
I heard the expression once that talking to someone with small children is like talking to someone with Tourette's. When I have play dates with any of my mom friends, we get to finish a complete sentence about 12% of the time. Either a child gets hurt, or needs your help, or is yelling a word repeatedly at you until you acknowledge them. You also have to be able to do things like read a book to your toddler while you nurse your baby, and not burn dinner while you keep the children from gouging each other's eyes out. Focusing on a single task is for fancy people. Moms are not those people.
- Women seem to be more nurturing.
I'm not trying to say that every woman is more nurturing than any man, but as a whole, women win the nurturing competition. I'm sure it goes without saying how this would be useful in mothering, but I'll say some things anyway. Babies need a lot of attention, they thrive on things like talking and singing, and suffer if they are not touched and held enough. Have you ever noticed how female friendships seems to require a lot more maintenance than male friendships? We teach each other our whole lives how to nurture, so that nurturing babies is not even more of an earth shattering shock.
- Women seem to be more emotional than men.
Sometimes when I try to explain to my husband what I am feeling, it feels a little like trying to explain colors to a blind man. Men just don't seem to feel all the feels like women do. Relatedly, men seem to be more task oriented, and if you're going to judge the quality of your day by the tasks completed, then being a stay at home parent is not your gig. Being a mom causes me to feel the deepest depths of my pain, my fear, and most importantly, my joy. If I didn't feel so deeply, the hassle of it all might not feel worth it. If I couldn't feel the bursts of joy breaking through all of the frustration and difficulty, I might not want to care for my own offspring! Feeling deeply allows me to love caring for a child enough to be willing to do it again.
I hope this doesn't sound like I think that women are the only ones who can care for children, or are the only ones who would be good at or enjoy it. But as unpopular as it may be, I do believe that the care of children is more often going to be suited to womanhood. I also think that as much as men help women to learn things like focusing on one thing at a time, or not crying at the drop of a hat; women are meant to help men develop all of these characteristics as well.
But you know, what do I know?
Labels: Faith, Motherhood
